DAY ONE

I’m in the army now. I feel as if it has been this way my entire life and yet I was only drafted earlier today. I am lost. I know just two people here and they seem to be the only one’s who don’t want to see me dead. However, in a few days, maybe in just a few hours, that’s just what I’ll be to them, just another nobody lost in the war for liberation. But if that is all I am to them, then why am I even here. I’m not very smart. Not like my cousin, Ignacio. I haven’t been to school in a very long time. I can’t. I have to pack bananas and cut cane just to help my family escape starvation. There is no time for school. I could never kill anyone either. They deserve to live just the same as me. I’m useless to them. I’m only another mouth to feed. The food I get here for being a soldier is only starving other people. I don’t deserve this. I’m not even a real soldier. I have already sworn to escape back to my family. At least then, I can earn my food, no matter how little it is. Some of the others here, like Juan, wouldn’t lose any sleep knowing that he’s is the cause of the starvation of others so that he can just kill more innocent people. I can’t stand the though of killing others but I think that by killing Juan, I could save other, more deserving people like my family who no longer have anyone to support them because of this war. We’ve had 42 revolutions now. One more isn’t going to make a difference. What is going to save this country more than any war is peace.

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